The Letters That Changed My Life

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Letters That Changed My Life 

Success is steady progress toward one's personal goals.

Jim Rohn

Have you ever talked to yourself ? I have daily conversations. How about written to yourself ? Several years ago, my wife, who is a Medical Exercise Specialist and Yoga instructor, introduced me to a powerful concept of writing a series of letters to myself. The first letter was based around the perspective of addressing my unhealthy self in five years - being brutally honest regarding the results of my unhealthy lifestyle and poor dietary choices. Here is a brief excerpt from my letter from my unhealthy self : 

“  You are in bad shape my man. You have made some terrible health choices over the last five years that have resulted in poor health. ...Now that you weigh so much, it has drastically affected every aspect of your life, including your love life….Dude, your lack of self care is hurting your wife and her career. You have done this to yourself. ….

Your cholesterol and triglycerides are elevated now, and yes, you have allowed your health to devolve to the point to Type II diabetes. ...You are so ashamed of letting yourself go downhill, that you refuse to workout or even darken the door of the gym. Not good….

Additionally, your job hangs by a thread, because your weight and poor condition has caused you to slow down and not be able to keep up the pace to properly care for your sales territory. Your energy is sapped, and your stamina is gone. ...

You are on a train track with a one -way ticket destined for a heart attack or a stroke. You missed your opportunity to change your ways, and now you must pay the price.” 

How many of us dismiss or rationalize our daily choices? This is especially easy to do over the Holidays , or during stressful life situations ( COVID ?) Looking at the obvious consequences of those choices over a five year period and taking ownership , is a powerful and sobering exercise. Don’t stop there though. The next step is composing a letter from your healthy self. What would the next five years look like if you totally owned your health and fitness? Here’s an example of my letter from my healthy self:

“I want to personally thank you for the positive decisions and healthy lifestyle you've developed over the last five years. You cut out the refined sugars and reduced your peanut butter consumption, included more fruits and vegetables,and added a high intensity workout program ; which resulted in steady weight loss. ...you can now find clothes to fit in almost any department store. No more big and tall !  ...Your blood sugar is stabilized and your cholesterol is normal, not high anymore.

You and your wife are enjoying some awesome trips and vacations together in this season of your life. ...Flying hasn’t been as uncomfortable for you since you lost that additional thirty pounds. Consequently , you've had more energy and stamina throughout the day which has helped your sales career…...Your health has been an inspiration to your boys.....with your physical transformation, you are encouraging others to be physically and spiritually healthy. Great job ! “ 

I am three years into my five year journey, and I am ⅔ of the way to my goal. Like most humans, I get derailed in my eating or miss a workout from time to time, but reading my letters from myself always helps get me back on track. I am not operating under shame or guilt, but rather a sense of freedom and joy found in making the right choices. Join me in this journey by not letting another day go by without writing these letters to yourself! They will change your life. To your health ! 

Self-talk, for me, has been the biggest thing in my life. A lot of us have a dialogue that is crap. It's a crappy dialogue. We live in a world right now that is very external. Everything is very on the surface. Superficial. Everything. And what we're telling ourselves is what we see on TV.

David Goggins 

Enduring the Storms of Life

 

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Enduring The Storms of Life 

We all face storms in life. Some are more difficult than others, but we all go through trials and tribulation. That's why we have the gift of faith.

Joyce Meyer

With the announcement of Hurricane ETA tracking our direction last week, my family and I, like most Floridians, sprang into “preparation mode”. Batteries and flashlights were checked, gas cans for the generator were filled, and water containers were topped off. When you’ve gone through and come out the other side of a dangerous storm, you tend to take things a little more seriously.If you haven’t endured intense weather, then there is no point of reference. 

A number of years ago, we saw this played out during a family vacation to Franklin , North Carolina. Our family rented a cozy cabin nestled in the Blue Ridge mountains, next to a small meandering stream. For the first few days, it seemed like a slice of heaven. Until we got the warning call from a relative, that Hurricane Opal was tracking our way. Being Floridians, we headed to the local supermarket for supplies. The locals were so chilled when we told them a Hurricane was forecasted to hit NC. Needless to say, when Opal ripped through Georgia and arrived in the Carolinas that night , trees snapped, power lines went down, and that lazy meandering stream turned into a Category  5 rapid . In the aftermath, when we drove into town, the '' Welcome to Franklin “ sign read , “ Welcome to F”.  The baseball fields and parks were flooded, and the only restaurant open was Pizza Hut, because they were the only ones who  had a backup generator. Carolinians never saw hurricanes in the same light after Opal ,and neither did we. Storms impact our lives.

Which leads me back to the original thought about storms - everyone endures them! This has been a “stormy” tumultuous year for all of us. COVID 19, social distancing, working from home, political changes, social unrest , and changing markets have impacted many companies that I know. So how do we make it to the morning light ? Here are a few thoughts : 

Everyone goes through a season of Storms: Don’t become a victim, because that mindset doesn’t do you or anyone else any good. Everyone and I mean Everyone goes through some type of trial or tribulation. No exceptions. It is ok to acknowledge the existence of the storm without allowing them to run over us. Yeah the storm hit. Now let’s rebuild ! 

Don’t Compare Storms : I’ve done this and lived to regret it. Fact: we never know all of the facts. There is always a backstory or a hidden narrative within each person's life, including our own. My goal is to choose not to judge or compare myself to another, but rather focus on owning my actions, and taking care of my own backyard. It is not my job to try and fix anyone but me !

We can't control the Storms, only ourselves : This is a biggie. If we allow ourselves to get so worked up over things we cannot control, then it is easy to digress into the blame game. Redirecting my focus on what I have the ability to control is empowering. I cannot prevent a storm from knocking out my electricity, but I can have my generator tuned up, gassed up, and ready to provide backup for my family. Choose to control the things you can, and let go of the things you can’t .

Learn to Prepare : response-ability: Colin Powell stated that “ There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” 

Whether preparing for a storm, or preparing for a presentation; it is the ability that we have to respond that determines the outcome. It is the planning and strategy we act on in advance that pays dividends at the end of the story. Passivity never accomplishes anything, but taking strategic action does.

Focus on the Sunlight : Choose to be the kind of person that looks for the silver lining within the dark cloud. Be a realistic optimist. Yes, people have been affected by the pandemic.Yes, markets and businesses have been greatly challenged and even decimated this year. Yes, the path of successfully doing business has changed and what worked yesterday may no longer work today. But here’s what does - being responsive to our client’s needs, extending patience through challenging times, and taking responsibility when the ball gets dropped and being honest about it - these are characteristics of the heart that transcend trends, markets or economies. Look for the light that comes AFTER the storm and keep your umbrella close by! 

The greater the difficulty the more glory in surmounting it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests.

Epictetus

Finding Our Place in the Sun

 

sunrise on New Smyrna Beach, FL

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Finding Our Place in the Sun 

My calling is to help people, to teach people, to share with people, until I die. I can never stop doing that. I can't, and I don't want to.

Steve Harvey

Have you ever seen someone who is so good in their craft, talent or work ; that they make it seem effortless? How many of us have been inspired by a Ted Talks withBrene Brown, a speech from  Zig Ziglar or a Rich Roll podcast that we were motivated by their call to action ? We were moved to make some positive changes in our life. When someone is operating in the flow, there is confidence and energy that exudes from them. People impact the world around them  when they are in their zone . But how do we find that zone ? How do we find our place in the sun ?

I have always been in some kind of sales, but at one point in my journey, many years ago; I supported my family by managing sixteen commercial accounts for a janitorial company. Trash, toilets, vacuum, and mop yourself out the door , was my nightly routine. Rinse and repeat. It was honorable work but lonely. One night while scrubbing a toilet, the realization hit me that I would rather communicate with humans than deal with what came out of them. I loved being with people, and the solitude of my current job was draining me. I went home, updated my resume’  with my wife’s assistance, put on my Sunday dress clothes, and started knocking on the doors of local businesses. My path took me to a family owned aluminum company that I knew of through a church acquaintance. I did not have an appointment, so I left my resume’ and cover letter at the front desk. Back in the car, ready to turn the ignition; a man came jogging out to my vehicle and knocked on my window. “ I’m Allen, the general manager. I saw your resume’. What are you looking for ?” He said. I replied, “ I am looking for a sales position. “ Allen smiled and said, “ I just so happen to need a sales rep. Why don’t you come in and talk with me. “ I did. We talked. He hired me, and I spent twelve years of my sales career at Royal Aluminum. That was over thirty years ago, and I have not looked back. I found my flow when I was selling. 

What comes naturally to you ? Every job has challenges, but at what point do you feel like  you’re in the zone? My wife and I have a friend , a relationship we built from her yoga class. There is not a birthday or departure or loss or need to give thanks that Vicky forgets. She is always there with a greeting card for the group to sign. She naturally reaches out to others to make them feel welcomed or loved. Do you want to know the best places to kayak in Florida? Ask Vicky. We frequently see her car with kayaks in tow whizzing past our house, horn blowing , and her hand waving out the window. She never kayaks alone though. She always brings a group, because she believes in connecting people. She lives to encourage and appreciate people. It flows out of her, and she is an inspiration to everyone who knows her.

What flows out of you ? Now, more than ever, we need to listen to our hearts and see what bubbles up to the surface. Our focus should not be on perpetuating the divisive spirit that permeates our nation, but rather, we must ask ourselves, “ What can I do to make this world a better place ? How can I take personal ownership and become a better version of myself ? “ I believe when we do this, we will find our calling, our dharma; and  our place in the sun. 

A calling  is something you feel - you look out and see the need - maybe it's the need for the poor, to help poor people. Maybe it's the need to get involved in the race problem, as Martin Luther King was - he felt called.

Billy Graham

Mind The Small Things

Photo from Unsplash.com

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Mind The Small Things 

If you can't do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.

William H. McRaven

Drip...drip...drip...goes the leaky faucet. Is there anything more disconcerting than lying in bed, struggling to find sleep, and feeling like your ears are being water boarded by a dripping shower or sink faucet ? In the scheme of life, does such a little thing like water dripping from a fixture matter all that much, really ? Yes, it does. Small things do matter, because they add up to become big things. The EPA has determined that …” A leaky faucet that drips at the rate of one drip per second can waste more than 3,000 gallons per year. That's the amount of water needed to take more than 180 showers! “ (EPA . Gov) Pardon the pun, but this river runs deep throughout our personal lives as well as our careers.It is the small actions and habits that we do on a consistent basis that either make us or break us.

This plane landed home with me on this subject a few weeks ago when one of my design clients requested samples for a meeting with their healthcare end-user and contractor. This is not a difficult thing, as I order product samples everyday for my clients. Except in this situation, when I submitted my request to my Samples Dept, I failed to add the state into the address; and the samples were not shipped. The product didn’t show up for the meeting. My client was majorly inconvenienced and nearly switched out my product for another. All over two little letters- FL. Let me ask you, do small things matter ? You bet they do. At the end of the day, I owned my mistake, apologized to my client, and sought to preserve the relationship; but I learned a valuable lesson : Paying attention to details is paramount to success.

How about remembering your Anniversary day? Is that important? “ I think it’s sometime in the Fall” is not going to cut it . One small date. One big consequence. The same is true in business. Just try overlooking a little thing like completing your expenses for two months, and then try to accurately put all of those pieces back together. Not that I’ve ever done that before. Better to keep up with it every week, than to feel like you are trying to solve a murder mystery while reconstructing your life. 

Just a small spark plug powers a big engine, and a tiny rudder can guide a huge ship; so the small things within our lives cannot be overlooked or minimized. It is the small kisses, the brief hugs, and the “ love yous” over the phone , done on a daily basis, that keep those personal relationships alive and growing. Like daily brushing and flossing keeps our teeth healthy and strong; the prompt returning of phone calls and emails, keeping our promises, showing up on time, and following up and following through , add up to be big relationship builders as business professionals. Little things do matter. So, please pardon me as I step out to call a plumber to fix some leaky faucets!

God tests and proves us by the common occurrences of life. It is the little things  that reveal the chapters of the heart. 

Ellen G. White

The Cheese Is Moving

Graphic from Pixabay.com

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The Cheese Is Moving 

CHANGE HAPPENS WHEN THE PAIN OF HOLDING ON BECOMES GREATER THAN THE FEAR OF LETTING GO. – SPENCER JOHNSON ( Posthood.com ) 

The one true constant in life is change. The last four months have brought more change than ever imaginable. COVID-19 has been the perpetrator of such radical disruption in our culture, our businesses and our world. Some have barely been affected. Others have lost loved ones close to them. Some have seen their jobs or markets vaporize; while many have trudged along, working from home ; being thankful to produce income during these trying times. Many companies have gone to the mat and have intentionally made sacrifices just to keep their people working. A maintenance business owner told me last week, “ we haven’t made much profit over the last three months, but we’ve kept all our crews working.” Well done.

In business, we have shifted from personal meetings to Zoom and Teams video conferences, from handshakes to social distancing, and from connecting over a meal or social event to cyber Happy Hours. It makes my head spin! These times strike at the core of every business professional who has built their lives and enterprise around relational connection and in-person face- to -face communication. It feels odd to be relegated to connecting only through electronic devices; like struggling to keep a long-distance relationship afloat.  I feel frustrated and handicapped, because I am missing out on being in my client’s presence! I no longer have the freedom of just dropping by with a new product, and a box of fresh Panera. The cheese has moved ! 

Spencer Johnson,  in his book, “ Who Moved My Cheese?” Tells the story about a universal challenge that we are all facing now-  change . Visionpoint.com summarizes it nicely : “  The fable centers around four characters; two mice named Sniff and Scurry, and two little people named Hem and Haw. The four live in a maze, which represents our physical environment. Their goal is to look for cheese, representing life's happiness and success. “  One day, when our characters return to the place where the cheese has always been, they find that it is gone ! Sniff and Scurry embark on their journey to discover where the cheese has been  moved, while Hem and Haw are paralyzed with fear. Should they put their track shoes on and run after the cheese? What if the cheese shows back up while they are out searching for it? What if the cheese never shows up again, and they starve to death ? In their dilemma they finally realize, the quicker they let go of the old cheese, the sooner they will find the new cheese. If they are not willing to change, they will become extinct. The fact is, “ life moves on ,” Spencer writes, “and so should we! “ Fear paralyzes us, but faith mobilizes us! 

I know so many business professionals ,myself included, that are way out of their comfort zones right now . Though many of us have faced recessions and personal setbacks, the season we face now is unprecedented. In our attempt to conduct business during this Pandemic , our openness to change, mental flexibility, and desire to persevere, is absolutely essential for our survival. The cheese has definitely moved. Our clients require a new level of service that meets their needs without endangering their health. They need current updates and information without us spamming their inboxes and overwhelming them . This requires more patience and creativity on everyone’s part- more handwritten notes, more follow up and follow through, and more “thank you’s “. We have to use the tools at hand to communicate effectively, to respond efficiently; while possessing authenticity and genuine empathy for our clients. 

I don’t know about you, but I’ve sort of grown fond of the taste of cheese over the years, so pardon me as I pause to lace up my track shoes. Happy running ! 

Being in the uncomfortable zone is much better than staying in the cheese-less situation. - Spencer Johnson 

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. - Alan Watts

Quotes from Brainyquote.com

Hope

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HOPE

Hebrew shepherd turned warrior turned King of ancient Israel once wrote, “ why so downcast oh my soul ?  Why so disturbed within me ? Put your hope in God...”

 ( Psalm 43:5) It is easy to become  so focused on negative circumstances that we lose all hope. And without hope, life becomes meaningless; and despair moves into the driver's seat. Viktor Frankl, who was an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist, author of “Man's Search for Meaning”, and Holocost survivor ; related a story about a group of prisoners in one of the death camps, that were forced to move a huge pile of dirt, using shovels and wheelbarrows; from one end of a bombed out factory to the other. Once the dirt pile was completely moved, their Nazi captors would have them repeat the process, moving the dirt pile to the other end of the building. Back and forth they went, day in and day out, until many of the prisoners literally went insane. Why? Because there was no purpose in what they were doing. They had lost all hope. 

Along that line, Viktor writes, “ A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the 'why' for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any 'how.' “ It is our “why” that gives us hope. Hope is the anchor for the soul. It is the coldest and darkest hour of the night just before the breaking of the morning sun. It is the anticipation of that direct deposit that shows up in our bank account. And it is seeing the face of a loved one that we’ve been separated from by time and distance. This makes deposits into our emotional bank account. Hope enables us to take one step at a time, even though we may be walking through the valley of the shadow of death. Hope manifests as the discipline that laces up our running / work out shoes, even when we don’t feel like it. Hope is trusting in something or Someone greater than ourselves.

Hope was exemplified by the life of Jan Baalsrud. In the movie “12th Man” , Jan’s journey is described - “ After a failed anti-Nazi sabotage mission leaves his eleven comrades dead, Norwegian resistance fighter Jan Baalsrud finds himself fleeing from the Gestapo through the snowbound reaches of Scandinavia.” This gripping, thrilling narrative was underpinned by one unspoken truth - hope ! After the execution of his fellow soldiers, Jan’s only desire is to get to Sweden. If he could just make it to a neutral country, then he’d finally be safe! It is this very hope that fueled his grit and determination to endure being hunted down, shot at, freezing with hypothermia, starvation, frostbite and gangrene. What I found most inspiring were the ordinary people of Norway who fueled his hope by ( spoiler alert ! ) taking him into their homes, clothing him, tending to his wounds, transporting him, and literally lifting his head to feed him when he was too weak to feed himself ! You see, their hope was inflamed by his hope, and their faith in him and his cause, fueled his hope. You see how that works, don’t you ? 

When we know our “why” and choose to walk in hope, it affects those around us in a positive way. They “ tie off “ to our ship, because we are anchored. Now is not the time to fear. We do what is in our control to do, then we exercise hope! Be full of hope!

Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.

Thich Nhat Hanh

Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.

Elie Wiesel

Lock Down

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Lock Down 

I am prepared for the worst, but hope for the best.

Benjamin Disraeli

Taking an early morning stroll with my wife through our neighborhood this week, I told her that I wanted to write some encouraging words for others regarding our Lock Down during COVID19 / Coronavirus. All of us find ourselves in the same boat, struggling forward one day, one step, one moment at a time. Many of us are either out of work, or conducting work remotely from our homes. Our center of living, thanks to the power of technology, has also morphed into the center of commerce; as one of my managers told me the other day, “ My wife is in another room running her business. My kids are homeschooling in their rooms. And here I am in my home office. “ Besides the obvious logistical challenges that we now face, and the desire to, well, stay alive; how do we maintain a positive attitude during these tough times?

My wife’s response to this question came in the form of an acrostic- “ LOCK DOWN”.

L - Look for opportunities. Take a deep breath and release it slowly with intention. Now that we have a few extra moments to breathe, we can look for opportunities… time to connect with our family, our neighbors, our friends, as well as our clients. Look for opportunities to learn that new app or language, catch up on your CRM/ Sales Force, or hone your skills as a business professional and a person.

O - Organize. Now is the perfect time to organize those areas of our lives, home, and business that we’ve been procrastinating. For me, tackling my samples warehouse was a daunting task I had been putting off. In my home office, my desk needs a little love, as it looks more like a toxic waste zone for bids and past projects. I actually have the moments I need now to find a place for everything and put everything in its place. Seize the moment. 

C- Call. Connect with clients and family alike with your phone. Call and Check on those who are alone, and stay connected to your  team through email, texting , Skype and Zoom. My wife has moved all of her personal training and yoga classes to the Zoom platform, and it has been a smashing success. Social distancing is being maintained with the element of connection, as she interacts with her clients , helping them to feel valued and cared for during this time of uncertainty . Who do you need to call that you haven’t spoken with in a long time ? Who do you know needs a word of encouragement today ? Follow the inner prompting of your heart and call them .

K - Keep your chin up. Jon Gordon, in his book, “ Energy Bus “ , states that it is impossible to complain and be grateful at the same time. I think the same applies to fear and thankfulness. No one wants to get sick and die, but to be consumed with fear is not really living at all. Like William Wallace proclaimed in the movie “Braveheart” , “Every man dies. Not every man really lives.” No, we do not bury our heads in the sand during this pandemic; and we make wise choices for the good of our own health and the good of others ; but we must also choose to live strong , fulfilling, and thankful lives ! 

 ( https://www.amazon.com/Energy-Bus-Rules-Fuel-Positive/dp/0470100281) 

——

D - Don’t Panic. I never knew that toilet paper was so valuable. Forget silver, gold, and precious metals. I am investing in Charmin and Scott’s ! Some folks have literally gone off the deep end with fearful binge shopping during this pandemic. The empty shelves resemble hurricane season. Sure,it makes sense to buy what we can to help our families survive this unseen enemy; while always keeping in mind that our choices always impact others. Additionally, we owe a big shout out and “thank you” to all service personnel who stock the shelves of every grocery store, Sam’s Club, and Costco ; who have endured the stress and risk of this time. 

O - Ownership. How can we take ownership of all of our blessings and give back to those in need? This is where the goodness of Americans shines. Starbucks has agreed to offer free coffee to first responders and healthcare workers, who are laying down their lives on a daily basis. What can we do as companies and individuals to give back ? One of my work associates cooked up a batch of Mac and cheese that she was dropping off at Meals on Wheels, who delivers meals to the elderly and shut ins . We the People are the government, and our government runs best when we all do our part. As the Russian proverb says, “ If we all give a thread, the poor man will have a coat.” 

W - Workout. Let’s get moving ! Yes, the temptation is to stay glued to the TV, watching the latest news or binge watching on Netflix or Disney Plus, while stress eating high fat tortilla chips with melted white Vermont Sharp cheddar cheese ( not that I’ve done that…) Now is the perfect time to start an exercise program, like walking in the neighborhood or checking out the Downdog yoga app. Are there any virtual classes that you could join? One of my managers told me this week that he dusted off the ping pong table in his garage, and is now enjoying some games with his family . Now is the time to build our immune systems through positive consistent activity. Close those activity rings on your Apple Watch ! Connect with your family and friends through activity ( while maintaining proper distance, of course...) 

N - Never, never, never Give Up. Winston Churchill remains as one of the greatest examples of a leader who defied the odds, and unequivocally refused to give in or give up. No matter how intimidating the Nazi war machine raged against them, Great Britain, led by Churchill, maintained their resolve. We have to do the same ! Though the Coronavirus rages against us- against our entire world - we must never, never , never give up ! 

Choose to make Lock Down a positive season !