Happiness Is A Choice

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HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE

HAP'PINESS, noun [from happy.] The agreeable sensations which spring from the enjoyment of good; that state of a being in which his desires are gratified, by the enjoyment of pleasure without pain; …Perfect happiness or pleasure unalloyed with pain, is not attainable in this life.

Noah Webster 1828

Is happiness circumstantial like winning the lottery? Or is happiness something that we must choose to pursue? Somewhere during the past few years of Covid I found myself slipping from being a person who saw the glass half full to losing sight of the glass altogether. A subtle yet real feeling of depression began to settle in as each day started to look the same - coffee, read , exercise, walk the dog, shower, shave , breakfast , then Zoom / Teams calls in my home office. It felt trapped like Bill Murray in the movie GroundHog Day. I observed myself becoming restless, agitated, and irritable. The fallout from COVID- caused supply chain issues, lack of workers , sky -rocketing prices, along with logistical shipping nightmares, only accelerated my downward spiral. I kept putting one foot in front of the other, but I felt like an extra zombie on Walking Dead. I was Neo/ Neal trapped in the Matrix.

A turning point occurred when my wife encouraged me to shop for an“ attitude cup”. The inspiration came from our youngest son, who consistently used his Rae Dunn ceramic cup, with the word “Curious” engraved on the side. Instead of dirtying a new cup every time he made coffee or matcha tea during his programming pomodoros, he’d wash and reuse his “Curious “ cup.

 Noting my legal addiction to caffeine, I agreed that a coffee cup combined with a mission statement might be a good thing , so we visited a local big box store to see what we could find. Scanning the various cups with a plethora of themes and messages, I landed on a rather large ceramic cup - white on the outside and yellow on the inside- boldly featuring the word “HAPPY”. At that moment,  In the midst of all the uncertainty and challenges, I made a pact with myself to read the word on my cup every day , and choose to be happy. I literally chose to see the cup half full ( again) .😀

 No, there was not an immediate change, but like seeing and feeling the cumulative effects of a good workout system or a healthy nutrition program; I felt myself begin to lift out of the mind funk. I realized that there were things that I could not change, and things that I could . Instead of spiking my blood pressure over those things I couldn’t change, I had to release them. I focused rather on the blessings and the good things that were present in my life - my faith, my wife and sons, my chocolate lab, sufficient food and plenty of toilet paper, a great employer that allowed me to work from home, and the opportunity to at least SEE my clients on Zoom and Team calls- all of these things, I chose to be grateful for. I began to practice better self care, devoting time to my mental and emotional health, as well as my physical well being. Yeah I was still emotionally exhausted at the end of the day, but I was in a better head space. 

All this began with a simple little ( ok, not so little…) HAPPY cup ! What word or theme  would you want on your cup ? It’s your choice. Gotta go… HAPPY wants a refill.

I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.

Martha Washington

When Lightning Strikes

Sales Man Up Blog

When Lightning Strikes

Success is like a lightning bolt. It'll strike you when you least expect it, and you just have to keep the momentum going. You have to strike when the iron is hot. So for me, I just kept striking and striking to polish out the sword that I was making.

Michelle Phan

Lightning struck. The flash of brilliance, along with the accompanying thunder BOOM seemed to shake the house. But how was this any different from a typical June rainstorm in Florida ? We live in the lightning belt, and during the summer, thunderstorms can arrive like an unwelcome guest, and leave just as quickly as they came. A few days after this June deluge, my youngest son asked me if I had seen the “vine” growing on the trunk of the fifty foot oak tree closest to the house. Upon inspection of the tree, I did see a vertical line shooting down the length of the tree, and it did resemble a vine. After stepping closer to the tree, I realized that I wasn’t looking at a vine, but actually the inner portion of the oak because the bark had literally been blown off ! It was then I began to take notice of the oak bark scattered across my sidewalk and driveway- as much as sixty feet away from the oak. Lightning had indeed struck our tree ! ( see photo) 

My wife called Rolando, an arborist and tree trimmer who has worked with us for years. He and his team inspected our oak tree and confirmed that lightning had done the deed. I noted that the mature ginger plants surrounding the tree had withered and died just days after the strike, but the ginger pups survived. Rolando observed that the leaves of the oak were still green and vibrant. There was no sign of deterioration in the tree. When I asked if I should fill in the gaps in the bark, he recommended that we allow the tree to heal itself. The tree is a survivor…and so are you!

Lightning has struck all of us in some manner over the last year. We have all endured the pandemic storm- fighting sickness or grieving the loss of a loved one who lost the fight. In business, we have been struck with supply /chain and material shortage issues, labor challenges, extended lead times , and logistical nightmares. Am I hitting home yet ? Each of us, in some way, has been etched - just like my oak tree. But here’s the good news - the ancient word for character means to “ be etched, marked, or scarred”. The things that scar us are what builds our character. Ever watch two children point to their skinned knees and elbows, now healed up, but they share their stories as if they just happened today ? There is always a narrative behind every scar, every challenge, every trial in life. 

Like my arborist stated, “ your tree will heal itself. The bark will grow back to protect the tree.” We too must give ourselves time to heal, our leaves will remain green, our roots grow deep and our character broaden as we soak up the sunshine of a new year. Like the mature ginger that died, maybe there are some areas of lives this past year that we needed to let go of. Stay watered, don’t forget time for self care, be kind and compassionate, and never forget the stories behind your healed scars. Lightning may strike again, but our focus is not on giving up and withering, but on living. Winston Churchill stated, “  Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. ..” .

How to save an oak tree …https://www.greentopps.com/post/how-save-oak-tree-struck-lightning-guide

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.

Mark Twain

The Value of Atomic Habits

 Sales Man Up

Atomic Habits 

“ You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress.” 

― James Clear, Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

Every business professional I know sets goals. Many times, our managers set those goals for us in the form of yearly quotas. We’ve all made New Year's resolutions - personal, private, relational, health or financial goals. But how do we achieve those goals if we don’t have systems in place with good habits that build on each other day after day? Goals are just words or numbers on a piece of paper if we do not implement a path in which to accomplish them. How do we develop life changing systems ? Here’s where James Clear steps in. If you haven’t read his book , “ Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way To Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones” , you are missing out on one of the most insightful, pragmatic and practical books ever written on developing good habits and successful systems. 

Here are just a few items that I gleaned from Atomic Habits:

• The 1% Rule : The simple concept of minimal but consistent improvement every day, that ultimately lead to big pay offs. It’s not the big wins, but rather the diligent small accomplishments over the long haul that yield unbelievable results. Read about the British Cycling Team: https://jamesclear.com/marginal-gains

• Habit Stacking : Which habits can we line up together that naturally flow into one another ? For instance, every morning as I make the coffee, I fill up our drinking water container, I check the dog’s water bowl, and prepare our vitamin C. I stack these habits consistently. How can you apply this to your life and business?

• How to establish a good habit and stop a bad one: Bad habits provide some type of “benefit” to our life, so instead of trying to cut them out, why not replace them with a healthier habit ? Here’s the full story : https://jamesclear.com/how-to-break-a-bad-habit

Great Quotes from James Clear :

• All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision.

• Be the designer of your world and not merely the consumer of it.

• Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.

• Good habits can make rational sense, but if they conflict with your identity, you will fail to put them into action.

• The greatest threat to success is not failure but boredom. We get bored with habits because they stop delighting us. The outcome becomes expected. And as our habits become ordinary, we start derailing our progress to seek novelty.

• Success is the product of daily habits—not once-in-a-lifetime transformations.

• The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity. It’s one thing to say I’m the type of person who wants this. It’s something very different to say I’m the type of person who is this.

• Your actions reveal how badly you want something. If you keep saying something is a priority but you never act on it, then you don’t really want it. It’s time to have an honest conversation with yourself. Your actions reveal your true motivations.

• You should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than with your current results.

Whether you are a seasoned business professional or a young entrepreneur, everyone can benefit from reviewing our current habits and systems. I believe we can all become 1% better ! Take action Today ! To your success.

Visit:  https://jamesclear.com/articles

Parade of Life

 

Sales Man Up Blog

Parade of Life 

I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.

Stephen Grellet

A parade took place in my neighborhood last weekend. Not the kind of parade you’d expect, with marching bands , baton twirlers , or floats throwing candy to the crowd. This was a parade for one purpose only- to honor a life - a precious school teacher who has fought the fight with cancer, and is now resolved to come home under the care of hospice. One newspaper said of her ,“ Ask anyone who knew this woman, and they'd tell you the faithful, dedicated, supportive, community-oriented and loving woman was born to be a teacher.” In 2018, she was honored with the Teacher of The Year award, a rightful recognition of many years of selfless service. Her students , past and present, as well as fellow faculty members adored her. 

The gravity of it all hit me last Saturday, as we watched the parade pass by our house, with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. It was a beautiful act of kindness. Why do we wait until loved ones leave us , to honor them and celebrate them ? Why can’t we express our love and appreciation for them today, while they are ( and we are) still breathing? We live under a Matrix-like delusion that life will always remain the same, but we know deep down in the honest places of our heart, that it won’t. Everything changes. Our life is like  a mist- like the dew upon the morning grass that dissipates as the heat of the glorious sun rises. So we must seize the moment. 

Even though she has passed on now, this teacher’s legacy lives on, in her husband, and children, and hundreds of students and teachers that she influenced for the good over the years. Her husband told me that her favorite moment in life was when she closed her classroom door, and began to teach . She lived to teach. What do you live for ? What are some ways that you can celebrate life- yours and others- today ?

A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.

Saint Basil

The New Normal

 

Sales Man up blog

The New Normal

Throughout COVID, I just consistently grinded at my craft. I didn't let COVID get in the way of my goal and the goal is to be the best me that I can be for the team.

Mohamed Sanu ( wide receiver for San Francisco 49ers)

Who hasn’t been impacted by the presence of COVID-19 over the last year ? Whether you are a regimented CDC guideline follower, or a non-mask anti vaccination contender; the commonality that we all share is that “ normal “ is no longer normal. What worked in sales and marketing just a short year ago, may not work now. This truth was fact-checked for me recently when I finished up a call in Orlando, and drove around the corner with the intent of purchasing a Pike Place coffee; only to find the intended store closed with the  sign painted over. I tried again as I headed to a familiar restaurant which features an awesome cup of French roast, except that place was not only closed, but knocked down and replaced by a fast food chain. A lot has changed over the past year.!

The principles of supply and demand affect us all, whether we like it or not. Thank God for companies like DoorDash, Uber Eats, and InstaCart that have helped us grocery shop and feed our families over the last year. The Sams Club order/ pickup App has become a mainstay in our home. Business of Apps states that InstaCart added 350,000 “ shoppers” in 2021. I believe it.

Our homes have become the epicenter for life, family, business and education within the  last year. My new sales uniform transitioned into company -branded golf shirts and cargo shorts. I had to dress up for a meeting the other morning, and it felt odd and exciting at the same time. I prayed and held my breath while slipping on my dress pants, hoping that my “COVID pounds” hadn’t caught up with me. Man, sometimes I miss the old Sansabelt dress slacks with adjustable clips on the waist !

Speaking of working from home - that is another shift in our vocational culture that has impacted many of us. Review42.com summarizes that ,” 4.7 million people were already working remotely from home before the COVID-19 pandemic. 88% of the organizations, worldwide, made it mandatory or encouraged their employees to work from home after COVID-19 was declared a pandemic.” Bottom line - working from home is here to stay in some form or fashion. I would estimate that over 50% of my architectural / design and end user clients within central Florida are still working from home- at least part of the work week. One hospitality client informed me last week that he and his team would be working from home for the balance of 2021 ! Many offices are still  not allowing vendor meetings or in-person  presentations; which presents a unique set of challenges to those of us in Sales. How do we get in front of our clients or cultivate new ones ? How do we avoid the outcome of “ out of sight, out of mind”? Are we missing out on business opportunities due to the disconnect of social distancing?

Of course we have Teams and Zoom calls, but many people are getting burned out on video conferencing. I recently conducted a CEU luncheon for a client, and everyone kept their cameras and microphones muted. I felt isolated, not being able to gauge body language for effective responsiveness; but I was thankful for any shred of human contact with my clients . Some reps have seen a good response through collaborative trunk shows- setting up product reviews working out of their cars,  in outdoor parks, parking lots, or even outside individual houses. 

No matter what our sales challenges , we always need to remain cognizant of our client’s plight- possibly homeschooling children or caretaking toddlers or babies from home, while designing and seeking to maintain a work/ life balance, and being deluged by excessive product binders and samples; on top of meeting project deadlines. Reps face these challenges too as I am aware of a salesperson and mother of four, whose husband has committed to work from home while homeschooling their children over the last year. Wow !

This season calls for patience and creativity on everyone’s part. A little kindness can go a long way - like a pack of M&Ms sent along with a sample; or a handwritten thank you note with a Starbucks gift card; Or even an Iced Coffee/ tea run for your customers as a treat on a hot day . Remember this - Service is still King, no matter what the new normal may look like. Regardless of supply chain difficulties or extended lead times, responsiveness and honest communication are still the key to success. Keep grinding at your craft and stay the course! 

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Wayne Dyer

The Letters That Changed My Life

Sales Man Up Blog

Letters That Changed My Life 

Success is steady progress toward one's personal goals.

Jim Rohn

Have you ever talked to yourself ? I have daily conversations. How about written to yourself ? Several years ago, my wife, who is a Medical Exercise Specialist and Yoga instructor, introduced me to a powerful concept of writing a series of letters to myself. The first letter was based around the perspective of addressing my unhealthy self in five years - being brutally honest regarding the results of my unhealthy lifestyle and poor dietary choices. Here is a brief excerpt from my letter from my unhealthy self : 

“  You are in bad shape my man. You have made some terrible health choices over the last five years that have resulted in poor health. ...Now that you weigh so much, it has drastically affected every aspect of your life, including your love life….Dude, your lack of self care is hurting your wife and her career. You have done this to yourself. ….

Your cholesterol and triglycerides are elevated now, and yes, you have allowed your health to devolve to the point to Type II diabetes. ...You are so ashamed of letting yourself go downhill, that you refuse to workout or even darken the door of the gym. Not good….

Additionally, your job hangs by a thread, because your weight and poor condition has caused you to slow down and not be able to keep up the pace to properly care for your sales territory. Your energy is sapped, and your stamina is gone. ...

You are on a train track with a one -way ticket destined for a heart attack or a stroke. You missed your opportunity to change your ways, and now you must pay the price.” 

How many of us dismiss or rationalize our daily choices? This is especially easy to do over the Holidays , or during stressful life situations ( COVID ?) Looking at the obvious consequences of those choices over a five year period and taking ownership , is a powerful and sobering exercise. Don’t stop there though. The next step is composing a letter from your healthy self. What would the next five years look like if you totally owned your health and fitness? Here’s an example of my letter from my healthy self:

“I want to personally thank you for the positive decisions and healthy lifestyle you've developed over the last five years. You cut out the refined sugars and reduced your peanut butter consumption, included more fruits and vegetables,and added a high intensity workout program ; which resulted in steady weight loss. ...you can now find clothes to fit in almost any department store. No more big and tall !  ...Your blood sugar is stabilized and your cholesterol is normal, not high anymore.

You and your wife are enjoying some awesome trips and vacations together in this season of your life. ...Flying hasn’t been as uncomfortable for you since you lost that additional thirty pounds. Consequently , you've had more energy and stamina throughout the day which has helped your sales career…...Your health has been an inspiration to your boys.....with your physical transformation, you are encouraging others to be physically and spiritually healthy. Great job ! “ 

I am three years into my five year journey, and I am ⅔ of the way to my goal. Like most humans, I get derailed in my eating or miss a workout from time to time, but reading my letters from myself always helps get me back on track. I am not operating under shame or guilt, but rather a sense of freedom and joy found in making the right choices. Join me in this journey by not letting another day go by without writing these letters to yourself! They will change your life. To your health ! 

Self-talk, for me, has been the biggest thing in my life. A lot of us have a dialogue that is crap. It's a crappy dialogue. We live in a world right now that is very external. Everything is very on the surface. Superficial. Everything. And what we're telling ourselves is what we see on TV.

David Goggins 

Enduring the Storms of Life

 

Sales Man Up 

Enduring The Storms of Life 

We all face storms in life. Some are more difficult than others, but we all go through trials and tribulation. That's why we have the gift of faith.

Joyce Meyer

With the announcement of Hurricane ETA tracking our direction last week, my family and I, like most Floridians, sprang into “preparation mode”. Batteries and flashlights were checked, gas cans for the generator were filled, and water containers were topped off. When you’ve gone through and come out the other side of a dangerous storm, you tend to take things a little more seriously.If you haven’t endured intense weather, then there is no point of reference. 

A number of years ago, we saw this played out during a family vacation to Franklin , North Carolina. Our family rented a cozy cabin nestled in the Blue Ridge mountains, next to a small meandering stream. For the first few days, it seemed like a slice of heaven. Until we got the warning call from a relative, that Hurricane Opal was tracking our way. Being Floridians, we headed to the local supermarket for supplies. The locals were so chilled when we told them a Hurricane was forecasted to hit NC. Needless to say, when Opal ripped through Georgia and arrived in the Carolinas that night , trees snapped, power lines went down, and that lazy meandering stream turned into a Category  5 rapid . In the aftermath, when we drove into town, the '' Welcome to Franklin “ sign read , “ Welcome to F”.  The baseball fields and parks were flooded, and the only restaurant open was Pizza Hut, because they were the only ones who  had a backup generator. Carolinians never saw hurricanes in the same light after Opal ,and neither did we. Storms impact our lives.

Which leads me back to the original thought about storms - everyone endures them! This has been a “stormy” tumultuous year for all of us. COVID 19, social distancing, working from home, political changes, social unrest , and changing markets have impacted many companies that I know. So how do we make it to the morning light ? Here are a few thoughts : 

Everyone goes through a season of Storms: Don’t become a victim, because that mindset doesn’t do you or anyone else any good. Everyone and I mean Everyone goes through some type of trial or tribulation. No exceptions. It is ok to acknowledge the existence of the storm without allowing them to run over us. Yeah the storm hit. Now let’s rebuild ! 

Don’t Compare Storms : I’ve done this and lived to regret it. Fact: we never know all of the facts. There is always a backstory or a hidden narrative within each person's life, including our own. My goal is to choose not to judge or compare myself to another, but rather focus on owning my actions, and taking care of my own backyard. It is not my job to try and fix anyone but me !

We can't control the Storms, only ourselves : This is a biggie. If we allow ourselves to get so worked up over things we cannot control, then it is easy to digress into the blame game. Redirecting my focus on what I have the ability to control is empowering. I cannot prevent a storm from knocking out my electricity, but I can have my generator tuned up, gassed up, and ready to provide backup for my family. Choose to control the things you can, and let go of the things you can’t .

Learn to Prepare : response-ability: Colin Powell stated that “ There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” 

Whether preparing for a storm, or preparing for a presentation; it is the ability that we have to respond that determines the outcome. It is the planning and strategy we act on in advance that pays dividends at the end of the story. Passivity never accomplishes anything, but taking strategic action does.

Focus on the Sunlight : Choose to be the kind of person that looks for the silver lining within the dark cloud. Be a realistic optimist. Yes, people have been affected by the pandemic.Yes, markets and businesses have been greatly challenged and even decimated this year. Yes, the path of successfully doing business has changed and what worked yesterday may no longer work today. But here’s what does - being responsive to our client’s needs, extending patience through challenging times, and taking responsibility when the ball gets dropped and being honest about it - these are characteristics of the heart that transcend trends, markets or economies. Look for the light that comes AFTER the storm and keep your umbrella close by! 

The greater the difficulty the more glory in surmounting it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests.

Epictetus