Stress Free

Sales Man Up Blog

Stress Free

Remember that stress doesn't come from what's going on in your life. It comes from your thoughts about what's going on in your life. - Andrew J. Bernstein


One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from a horse master. He told me to go slow to go fast. I think that applies to everything in life. We live as though there aren't enough hours in the day but if we do each thing calmly and carefully we will get it done quicker and with much less stress. -  
Viggo Mortensen


The other morning, I was picking up Christmas cookies for some of my clients, and on my trip back to the car ; I noticed an SUV driving at an angle across the parking lot. The driver had no regard for the arrows or lanes laid out in the lot. I had done the same thing myself. Suddenly, horns were blazing, and yelling ensued as another driver had been cut off by this meandering SUV. The offended driver didn't stop at laying on the horn, or even displaying a middle finger peace sign; but summarily rolled down her window and commenced to berating and cussing at the SUV. She said things about the other driver’s lineage that I cannot share in this professional blog. Suffice it to say that I halfway expected a brawl to take place right there on the black top. Thank God that it didn’t, but the ordeal caused me to think about the added stress that arrives at this time of the year. Obviously, there was more going on within the offended driver’s life, than a meandering driver pulling out in front of her. Yes, this was the match that lit the fuse of her trigger point from kindling that was already building up in her life. I had to believe that there was already a powder keg of frustration, anger, and stress that was already present. It was a perfect storm waiting to happen, and the meandering SUV was just the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.

Webster defines stress as, “ force, pressure, urgency, importance, that which bears the most weight…” How many of us feel added pressure during the Holiday season ? It is nearing the end of our fiscal year, and sales need to be completed , projects finished, and overdue balances collected. Everything seems to have a sense of urgency attached to it. There are so many demands, activities, responsibilities, obligations, expectations ; and urgent things pulling at us from so many different directions; that we feel like William Wallace being racked with ropes in the movie Braveheart ! How do we deal with this kind of pressure ? Many of us turn to food, or alcohol, or other diversions to anesthetize the stress. But does that really benefit us in the long haul ?

We also need to keep in mind that our clients are feeling the same kind of pressures as they attempt to pour five weeks of work into four. It is vital that we learn not to interpret people’s anxiety as a personal offense. I happened to bump into a client the other evening while attending a social event, and he apologized to me for not responding to my text. It was an opportunity to extend a little grace, because we all can feel overwhelmed at times. We have to live and let live. Give people space to process and work through the meteorite shower that is hitting them at this time of the year. I have discovered that this is the perfect time of year to step back and do some personal reflection, and review the past year’s accomplishments and downfalls. It is a great time for some goal setting, dejunking, and cleaning out of the old to make room for the new.

The paradox remains that most of our songs and messages for the Holiday season promote peace, happiness and love ; yet so many actions that I observe even in my own life, are anything but that. So how do we cope with this stress ? What is the opposite of being stressed out ? Calm. Peaceful. Relaxed. Some are asking, “ what’s that ? “ Just like we choose to focus on the things that stress us out, I believe we must be intentional and deliberate about building space in our lives, both professionally and personally, to find peace and serenity. This may come in different forms for different people, but at the end of the day, it must be sought out ! It will not arrive like an unexpected smiling Amazon box on our front porch. ( although that is pretty cool when that happens, right ? ) Some choose to do yoga to connect and calm their mind and body. Others may incorporate a daily time of prayer and meditation. For some people,a quiet walk in a peaceful setting works to bring down the frenzy and clear their heads. For me, a moderate paced bike ride or a salty day in the sun fishing ; can be therapy for my soul. Find what works for you. My wife is a good example of someone who determines her priorities by writing down her activities in a round robin chart, and working through the process of determining what are the most important tasks to accomplish ? She realizes that everything cannot be done at once. So, what is really important ?  Just for today, if we can slow it down, like Viggo previously suggested ; we can make sense of the craziness. Beginning with our own hearts, maybe we can find “ Peace on Earth “.

Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn't come from a store. - Dr. Seuss



Christmas is a season not only of rejoicing, but of reflection. - Winston Churchill

How Powerful is Your Web ?

Sales Man Up


Personal relationships are always the key to good business. You can buy networking; you can't buy friendships.  - Lindsay Fox

While exiting through the front door of my house one brisk Fall morning, I walked up the steps towards my circular driveway, and felt an unseen string brush against my head. I immediately knew it must be a spiderweb, and commenced to searching for the source. Gazing off to my left, perched seven feet in the air within the branches of a magnolia tree, was a one foot diameter web accentuated by the droplets of dew still present from the morning. What was impressive to me, was the fact that the “ home web” was positioned a good twelve feet away from the heirloom rose bushes.  The spider that built this Web must've eaten her Kashi the night before , since she was able to fire off supporting webs at a distance of over twelve feet long to lend structural support for her magnolia tree web. Wow ! The spider was nowhere to be seen. Probably sleeping soundly on another branch, recovering from a hard night’s work !

In musing further about this impressive network of webs, as I commenced with my morning walk, I translated that real life example into how powerful a good network is within our business life. Like the spider, we begin spinning our web with a very small circle. If we only think about ourselves, we will remain as a small circle; but if we move forward in consideration of others, being intentional about becoming a resource to other business professionals, and helping others along the way ; our web begins to grow. It broadens and expands. Why is this so beneficial, even imperative for future success ? Because everyone is spinning their own web, with their own set of contacts and relationships. The clients you need to build relationship with, may already be close to a friend or associate ,who can make a warm introduction.

An example of this was evident when I was given a new sales market within the state of Florida, which included a city that I had not previously worked in. I knew little to no one in this vicinity. How could I build a thriving business within this city, if I didn’t even know where to begin ? I started with the husband of a past co-worker ; someone I had sold building materials within a former life (i.e. A friend ) . He agreed to meet with me at Cracker Barrell one morning. I bought his breakfast, and after our first cup of coffee, he began to extemporaneously expound on all of the key architectural firms, designers, and end-users within this given city. I took copious notes and asked clarifying questions. Major download ! That was the best twenty dollars that I ever spent. But wait, it gets better. A few weeks later, another close friend , who was also a salesperson I knew from a former life ; graciously volunteered to travel with me for a full day, and make personal introductions to his key businesses partners within this city. I cannot tell you how HUGE that was. Not only did I have names and numbers. I knew faces, and these faces now knew mine. The rest is history, as I watched my company’s business double within this city over the next two years. My part was to follow up and follow through, but it all began with relationships in my network, and friends who were willing to help.

How powerful is your web ? Are there relationships that you have that are untapped resources of mutual business opportunities? Yes, it needs to be a win/win when it comes to networking ; but whenever we give our time, energy and assistance to others ; it always comes back to us in unexpected ways.

Networking is an essential part of building wealth.   - Armstrong Williams